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Archive for the ‘Grief’ Category

Holistic Healing Centers can

Change your Life

by Kathleen Chester

Holistic health is a popular medical philosophy that treats patients by focusing on the most essential physical aspects—taking emotional, spiritual, and physical health into account. For many years, pharmaceutical medications have dominated the world of western medicine. But synthetic medication always carries the risk of creating dangerous chemical reactions in the body. Holistic healing is a lifelong commitment to personal health and well being on the way to living a better life.

Holistic healing goes beyond the mind-body connection to achieve improved lifestyle and wellness. Your entire personal well-being is accounted for. Physical healing, mental health, wellness, emotional well-being and spiritual values are the areas in which holistic health centers focus. This method of treatment will help you find personal power to establish control over your mind and body.

A person who gets the treatment from a holistic health center also learns the value of having proper relationships, being part of a nurturing caring environment, and the importance of having compassion for all human beings. Piedmont Triad’s holistic healer and author, Janet Nestor is a local resource, providing several services, including energy work sessions.

There are various types of holistic healing therapies that you can receive from a healing center. Some of the most popular and widely used holistic healing therapies are:

Aromatherapy: This is a massage treatment of body, face, and scalp to improve blood circulation through the use of aromatic essential oils made from trees, flowers, and plants. This treatment provides relaxation through the use of accupressure. A local resource provides non-toxic cleaners utilizing essential oils, The Clean G.

Ayurveda medicine: This is an ancient healing system that uses combinations of herbs. It was developed over thousands of years in India.

Counseling: If you are going through a bad phase of life, it is essential that you need to overcome your depression. Expert psychologists will help you to overcome depression by counseling.

Herbal remedies: This is a traditional healing treatment based on the use of plants and plant extracts. Since pharmaceutical medicines are affecting our body badly, it is better to use the natural medicines to cure our diseases. Terry Rader can advise on holistic healing and prevention in the Piedmont Triad Area for pet care, specializing in senior dog care.

Homeopathy: This is a treatment based on a theory that many diseases can be cured by a very small amount of drugs.

Naturopathic medicine: This treatment heals through massage, exercise, acupuncture, and minor surgery.

Chinese medicine: Another type of treatment in holistic healing centers that includes acupuncture, herbal medicine, heat therapy, and nutritional and lifestyle counseling that treat a range of acute and chronic diseases.

To improve your wellbeing, you may want to visit www.centerforhealthandhealing.org and find out how to get natural healing treatment from well-trained doctors.

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A Healthly Place has written a wonderful article regarding support for bereaved family members and friends.

Our local resource, Just a Cloud Away, Inc. ™ Journal believes strongly in the power of listening to those suffering great sadness after their losses. Stories are shared within the journal for our community to somewhat walk in their shoes while educating ourselves for similar experiences we may face in the future.

Just a Cloud Away, Inc. ™ Journal is funded by generous advertisers and those wanting to recognize a loved on within the journal, upon the  Quilt of Remembrance page. We are on our 12th month and have not profited and need your help, just to continue printing this resource.  We are more interested in reporting on those wanting to share their stories as part of their healing process, than solicit advertisers. Read past journals online.

How can I help an adult friend or family member deal with the death of a loved one?  Someone you know may be experiencing grief – perhaps the loss of a loved one, perhaps another type of loss – and you want to help. The fear of making things worse may encourage you to do nothing. Yet you do not wish to appear to be uncaring. Remember that it is better to try to do something, inadequate as you may feel, than to do nothing at all. Don’t attempt to sooth or stifle the emotions of the bereaved. Tears and anger are an important part of the healing process. Grief is not a sign of weakness. It is the result of a strong relationship and deserves the honor of strong emotion. When supporting someone in their grief the most important thing is to simply listen. Grief is a very confusing process, expressions of logic are lost on the griever. The question “tell me how you are feeling” followed by a patient and attentive ear will seem like a major blessing to the grief stricken. Be present, reveal your caring, listen. Your desire is to assist your friend down the path of healing. They will find their own way down that path, but they need a helping hand, an assurance that they are not entirely alone on their journey. It does not matter that you do not understand the details, your presence is enough. Risk a visit, it need not be long. The mourner may need time to be alone but will surely appreciate the effort you made to visit. Do some act of kindness. There are always ways to help. Run errands, answer the phone, prepare meals, mow the lawn, care for the children, shop for groceries, meet incoming planes or provide lodging for out of town relatives. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.
How can I deal with the death of a loved one?

Bereavement is a powerful, life-changing experience that most people find overwhelming the first time. Although grief is a natural process of human life, most of us are not inherently able to manage it alone. At the same time, others are often unable to provide aid or insight because of discomfort with the situation and the desire to avoid making things worse. The following passage explains how some of our “normal” assumptions about grief may make it more difficult to deal with.

Five Assumptions That May Complicate
  1. Life prepares us for loss.
  2. Family and friends will understand.
  3. The bereaved should be finished with their grief within one year or something is wrong.
  4. Along with the end of grief’s pain comes the end of the memories.
  5. The bereaved should grieve alone.Provided courtesy of Jack Redden, CCE, M.A., President; John Redden, M.S., Vice President, Cemetery-Mortuary Consultants Inc., Memphis, Tennessee  More is learned about loss through experience than through preparation. Living may not provide preparation for survival. Handling grief resulting from the death of a loved one is a process that takes hard work. The fortunate experience of a happy life may not have built a complete foundation for handling loss. Healing is built through perseverance, support and understanding. The bereaved need others: Find others who are empathetic. 
     
    How can I help an adult friend or family member deal with the death of a loved one?
     

     

     
     
     

    Someone you know may be experiencing grief – perhaps the loss of a loved one, perhaps another type of loss – and you want to help. The fear of making things worse may encourage you to do nothing. Yet you do not wish to appear to be uncaring. Remember that it is better to try to do something, inadequate as you may feel, than to do nothing at all. Don’t attempt to sooth or stifle the emotions of the griever. Tears and anger are an important part of the healing process. Grief is not a sign of weakness. It is the result of a strong relationship and deserves the honor of strong emotion. When supporting someone in their grief the most important thing is to simply listen. Grief is a very confusing process, expressions of logic are lost on the griever. The question “tell me how you are feeling” followed by a patient and attentive ear will seem like a major blessing to the grief stricken. Be present, reveal your caring, listen. Your desire is to assist your friend down the path of healing. They will find their own way down that path, but they need a helping hand, an assurance that they are not entirely alone on their journey. It does not matter that you do not understand the details, your presence is enough. Risk a visit, it need not be long. The mourner may need time to be alone but will surely appreciate the effort you made to visit. Do some act of kindness. There are always ways to help. Run errands, answer the phone, prepare meals, mow the lawn, care for the children, shop for groceries, meet incoming planes or provide lodging for out of town relatives. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.

    How can I deal with the death of a loved one?

     

     
     
     
     

    Bereavement is a powerful, life-changing experience that most people find overwhelming the first time. Although grief is a natural process of human life, most of us are not inherently able to manage it alone. At the same time, others are often unable to provide aid or insight because of discomfort with the situation and the desire to avoid making things worse. The following passage explains how some of our “normal” assumptions about grief may make it more difficult to deal with.

    Five Assumptions That May Complicate

     

    Life prepares us for loss.
    After the funeral service is over the bereaved may find themselves alone. They may feel as though they are going crazy, painfully uncertain in their world of thoughts and emotions. The bereaved begin to feel normal again when the experience is shared with others who have lost a loved one. Then, in reaching out, the focus of life becomes forward. The bereaved need others: Find others who are experienced.
      

    Provided courtesy of Jack Redden, CCE, M.A., President; John Redden, M.S., Vice President, Cemetery-Mortuary Consultants Inc., Memphis, Tennessee

     

     
     
     
     

     

    More is learned about loss through experience than through preparation. Living may not provide preparation for survival. Handling grief resulting from the death of a loved one is a process that takes hard work. The fortunate experience of a happy life may not have built a complete foundation for handling loss. Healing is built through perseverance, support and understanding. The bereaved need others: Find others who are empathetic.

    Family and friends will understand.

     

    If a spouse dies children lose a parent, a sibling loses a sibling, a parent loses a child and a friend loses a friend. Only one loses a spouse. Each response is different according to the relationship. Family and friends may not be capable of understanding each other thoroughly. Consider the story of Job’s grief in the Bible. Job’s wife did not understand his grief. His friends did their best work the first week when they just sat and did not speak. It was when they began to share their judgements of Job and his life that they complicated Job’s grief. Allowance must be made so that grief may be experienced and processed over time. The bereaved need others: Find others who are accepting.
     
     

    The bereaved should be finished with their grief within one year or something is wrong.

     

    During the first year the bereaved will experience one of everything for the first time alone: anniversaries, birthdays, occasions, etc. Therefore grief will last for at least one year. The cliche, “the healing hands of time,” does not go far enough to explain what must take place. The key to handling grief is in what work is done over time. It takes time and work to decide what to do and where to go with the new and changed life that is left behind. The bereaved need others: Find others who are patient.
     
     

    Along with the end of grief’s pain comes the end of the memories.

     

    At times, the bereaved may embrace the pain of grief believing it is all they have left. The lingering close bond to the deceased is sometimes thought to maintain the memories while, in fact, just the opposite is true. In learning to let go and live a new and changed life memories tend to come back more clearly. Growth and healing comes in learning to enjoy memories. The bereaved need others: Find new friends and interests.
     
     

    The bereaved should grieve alone.

     

     

After the funeral service is over the bereaved may find themselves alone. They may feel as though they are going crazy, painfully uncertain in their world of thoughts and emotions. The bereaved begin to feel normal again when the experience is shared with others who have lost a loved one. Then, in reaching out, the focus of life becomes forward. The bereaved need others: Find others who are experienced. At times, the bereaved may embrace the pain of grief believing it is all they have left. The lingering close bond to the deceased is sometimes thought to maintain the memories while, in fact, just the opposite is true. In learning to let go and live a new and changed life memories tend to come back more clearly. Growth and healing comes in learning to enjoy memories. The bereaved need others: Find new friends and interests. During the first year the bereaved will experience one of everything for the first time alone: anniversaries, birthdays, angelveraries, occasions, etc. Therefore grief will last for at least one year. The cliche, “the healing hands of time,” does not go far enough to explain what must take place. The key to handling grief is in what work is done over time. It takes time and work to decide what to do and where to go with the new and changed life that is left behind. The bereaved need others: Find others who are patient. If a spouse dies children lose a parent, a sibling loses a sibling, a parent loses a child and a friend loses a friend. Only one loses a spouse. Each response is different according to the relationship. Family and friends may not be capable of understanding each other thoroughly. Consider the story of Job’s grief in the Bible. Job’s wife did not understand his grief. His friends did their best work the first week when they just sat and did not speak. It was when they began to share their judgements of Job and his life that they complicated Job’s grief. Allowance must be made so that grief may be experienced and processed over time. The bereaved need others: Find others who are accepting.

 

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Rabbi Dickstein has led the Conservative movement to establish new legal responses that carry with them the full authority of Jewish law. Here are the major points of this new practice:

1. In the case of a full-term pregnancy, when an infant dies for any reason, at any time after birth, its parents and other family members should be obligated for full bereavement practices, just as for any other child. The parents should recite Kaddish for 30 days and should observe yahrzeit. Young siblings have no oblig­ation to say Kaddish, and post-bar/bat mitzvah siblings should be encouraged to use the traditional rituals to work through the many feelings they have.

2. The body should be buried in accordance with Jewish practice. The funeral should follow standard practice with appropriate readings of comfort in place of a eulogy. Parents should be encouraged to attend the funeral, as should family and close friends. The funeral should be held as soon as possible, although if the mother wants to attend, burial may be delayed until she recovers enough physical strength following the delivery to attend.

3. If the infant was not named prior to death, it is usually given a name at the grave. The name may be the one the parents intended to use for their child (although this might be difficult for the surviving grandparents whose own parents may have been remembered with this name), or they might choose a name like Menahem or Nehamah, names that indicate a desire for “comfort.” There are two reasons for the naming: a) according to Jewish folk tradition, giving a name will enable parents to “find” their child in the world to come; and b) psychologists consider the prac­tice of naming to be an important help in healing the parents’ grief.

4.  If the information gathered from an autopsy can help determine the advisability of future pregnancies for the couple or of treatment of diseases to which other chil­dren of the couple might be susceptible, it should be allowed, even encouraged.

5. A complete shiva should be observed, beginning with the meal of consolation and including daily prayer services for the mourners. Communal participation in the shiva makes real this loss and overcomes the tremendous isolation the parents feel. If things had turned out differently, the community would have been there for visit­ing the baby and welcoming it with Jewish birth rituals. The family whose newborn dies should not be denied its community. It is also extremely important, especially for the father, to allow permission to do nothing else but mourn during the shiva period.

6. The father and the mother should be treated equally as mourners. Both parents will react differently to the loss, [but] it is partic­ularly important for the father to recognize his loss, for it is no less real than the mother’s. When the father is treated as a mourner, he is relieved of the burden of “being strong” for his wife. He has a specific set of ritual tasks to do that encourage him to confront the magnitude of his loss in all its dimensions.

7. In the case of infants born prematurely, there is still debate within the Law Committee on how to define “viability.” Some, including Rabbi Dickstein, argue that between five months and thirty weeks the decision concerning mourning might be made by the local rabbi and the parents.

Certainly, there may be those who feel the centuries-old practice of not mourning a neonatal death could be more comforting than engaging in the whole ritual of Jewish bereavement. But for those who desperately need a vehicle for grief, this recent ruling allowing for the mourning of newborns is indeed a welcome development.

Dr. Ron Wolfson is the Fingerhut Professor of Education at American Jewish University and the president of Synagogue 3000.

Jewish twist on parenting

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An energy reading and a very detailed interpretation of the reading were presented to me by Janet Nestor, holistic healer and author of Pathways to Wholeness.

Janet is a supporter of Just a Cloud Away, Inc. Journal offering articles not typically accepted by mainstream society. If you are willing to open your mind to the possibilities, please do consider speaking with her regarding your losses.

Because my son died at birth, any memorabilia, pictures, descriptions are very much welcomed. A few photographs were taken of him at birth, clipping of hair, ashes, foot and hand prints and it just isn’t enough for a mother. Below is an energy reading where Janet connected with my little angel on August 3rd, 2010.

Tanner, son of Diana Gardner-Williams

Tanner has a whole lot to say. His senses are all operational from the spirit realm. His is connected to spirit, his listening ears are wide open for communication. He has a lot to say about a lot of things.

The blue orb at the third eye…inner eye. He is like a magnet. He intuits everything and is able to process through the center better than any others. His vision is full spectrum vision. He sees everything on all at once….many levels of seeing and understanding and had the ability to communicate what he sees and understands.

Colors:

Peach-he is social. Likes to be part of the mix. Also patient and kind and you can feel his love and compassion without hardly trying. He is shadowy in structure, but when he communicates you can hear and communicate with him.

Light pink/lavender-He is vibrant. He has a lot to say/intuit/process. He likes where he lives and is exactly where he is supposed to be. This is his world. He is comfortable within his world. He knows his way around.

The light blue in his energy field-it is his level of permanence. He is ever-present in your life, will remain ever-present in your family life as long as this family exists. He is part of the family and enjoys his interactions. He has a sense of humor. He can pop in and out and does.

His spiritual body seems to be a thought form. He is light and airy. He has great wisdom, which he will share if you listen to what he has to say. It is not infant wisdom, but wisdom of spirit that is collective in nature. He really does not seem to be identified with his human body at all. He is identified with his spiritual being and that life.

Notice his eyes and the fact that they appear alert. They are alert. The line through his eyes is a boundary of sorts. Reflects his deep insights. He will not interfere in what is not his to see and hear. He stays back unless invited. He is not hesitant. But he is respectful of privacy and of his role. As a child one might have called him timid, but not silent. Shy, but not withdrawn. Funny, but not a clown and center of attention.

The only thing he misses is the ability to cuddle. He would have loved touch and still likes touch although it is not the same. He will snuggle in close to you if he can…almost feel like a part of you. You might notice when he is around because he likes to be so close. He would loved to be noticed in those moments, but he does not seek to be noticed.

He is both child energy and very wise energy all rolled up into one spiritual being. His identity in this life is one of infant child. His spirit identity is ages old. A lovely mix of innocence and aged wisdom.

I cannot thank you enough Janet. These words are precious to me and gives my being another purpose and understanding of my child. This is tangible and will be cherished upon my alter for him.

 

Just a Cloud Away, Inc. ™Journal thanks you for providing resources for our community.

Janet Nestor will be signing copies of her book on Friday January 14th at Chanel Lace Hair Gallery-2011. Beautiful wigs for women on a healing journey, click here for more information

More information on energy readings, click here

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Support is available for bereaved families of pregnancy and infant loss in the Piedmont Triad Area. Heartstrings  is our local non-profit working with families who have lost a pregnancy or baby from conception to one year of age. This is done through a variety of supports designed to help them grieve, mourn, and begin to reconcile themselves to the death of their baby as well as cope with the emotions of a subsequent pregnancy.

The 6th Annual “Walk to Remember” of 2010 was held at Triad Park in Kernersville, NC. Families come to remember their children who briefly came into their lives and forever in their hearts.

The morning was beautiful and perfect for remembering angels.

T-Shirts were provided for the walkers.

Tammy Councilman is our local photographer representing the non-profit, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.

Handmade Quilt by families of the babies passed.

The children are missed and remembered.

Every year symbolic ornaments are presented to the parents, which are then hung on a tree while the baby names are read.

This year, a butterfly.

Many sponsors provide refreshments, signs and donations.

Many people walk the 1 mile track to honor babies and their families.

To help those comforting bereaved parents of pregnancy and infant loss, please take a few minutes to answer a few questions to be published within Just a Cloud Away, Inc. Journal. It is only by sharing our experiences, will others know how to comfort those walking in different shoes. We thank you for your time.

Journals are published online at, Read Journals Online.

Peace Love and Hugs from Above

Diana Gardner-Williams  publisher

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 Just a Cloud Away, Inc. ™ Journal is our community paper addressing loss, healing, memorials and proactive living. Founded by a mother, whose stillborn son is an integral part of the family today.

They are looking to educate society by providing articles within the journal addressing questions below. The journey of loosing a baby or pregnancy is devastating; however, if one has not walked in these shoes, it is difficult to comprehend. Please contact Diana@justacloudaway.com with answers to these questions (you may remain anonymous). Feel free to comment directly onto this post as well.

  1. Have you experienced any signs from your child/children?
  2. What words or actions of others comforted you the most?
  3. How can people help you in the future to honor your child?
  4. How have you memorialized your baby/babies?
  5. How have you described your loss to other living siblings?
  6. When people ask, “How many children do you have?” what is your response?
  7. Has the loss of your child/children changed your spirituality?
  8. Men and woman grief differently, do you have any suggestions to help other couples understand these differences?
  9. How do you acknowledge the Angelversary (day child passed)

10. Would you be interested in attending a casual paper crafting workshop at the Emerald Event Center, on a Friday night from 5-11? The location is 2000 East Wendover Ave, where supplies are provided to create memorials. More information is provided at http://www.justacloudaway.com on various ways to remember and memorialize our angels.

Please help increase awareness of pregnancy and infant loss. If you are located in another state other than North Carolina, please note in your answers and thank you.

Peace …..Diana

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Angelversary n. 1. is a word created by a bereaved parent denoting the annual date of a baby’s death, either early in pregnancy, stillbirth, or shortly after. This day is just as important to a bereaved parent as a birthday, and many are marking both birth and death on the same day. While “anniversary” might work, that often seems too celebratory a word for this kind of day. Angelversary is our answer to describing the most difficult day during the year.

 These are suggestions and ideas for Angelversary days.

Release balloons or butterflies

 ♥ In-name-of Gift -You can buy a star named after your child or give a financial contribution to a deserving charity

Visit child’s resting place – You can spend this day visiting your child’s gravesite, memory garden, site where you spread your child’s ashes, or any number of places that hold special meaning to your family and remind you of your child

Take baby someplace new – We believe your baby is with you in some spiritual way.  If you too believe this, you may like the idea of taking your baby someplace new each angelversary.  You can take pictures at that location and compose a scrapbook of all the places you visited in honor of your special angel baby

Send a letter to family and friends – Sharing the memory of your child can be especially important and healing.  One way to do this is to send a letter to your family and friends with special memories and thoughts you have of/for your child

 ♥ Adopt a pet – Pets are great healers and need your love. Perhaps now is the day you want to choose an addition to your family

 ♥ Living object – You can plant something in honor of your beloved child.  The choices of what to plant are quite plentiful and if you don’t have space at home you can plant in a community garden, pot or memorial garden.

 by Basil Augusta

Some information provided by www.alovingjourney.org and www.kotapress.com

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