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Archive for the ‘Grieving’ Category

Mothers Day is typically a joyous time where mothers are treated like queens by their children. What happens on this day when the children are deceased?

Mothers Day is different for some families.

What could have been, is not.

There are numerous books regarding pregnancy and infant loss from all perspectives. Unfortunately, most people reading them are only those directly affected. If others took some time to look over these resources, when or if a tragic event occurs, they may be the shoulder of comfort for the bereaved parents.

Definition of a mother: a female person, whose egg unites with a sperm, resulting in the conception of a child. Mothers Day is arduous for women who have lost their babies due to society’s view for a day of happiness and appreciation. Many women forego church due to the sadness of not having their child present and unsure whether to stand while being recognized by members. Mothers long for acknowledgement, even if in private.

Tracey Holyfield, founder of Heartstrings, suggests sending a thinking of you email, card, or phone call, recognizing her and her baby. Making donations to Heartstrings, Haven of Hope and Healing or March of Dimes in the child’s memory is another kind gesture.

Tracey purchased stackable rings for her deceased twins and other living children on her first mother’s day. Surviving the first year is twice as difficult because while mothers are grieving, communicating needs to family and friends is also necessary and exhausting.

It is a testimony of love by the numbers of families attending yearly pregnancy and infant loss events each year to remember the babies who briefly stayed.

Bereaved parents are able to compose a quilt square in remembrance of their children.

Some bereaved families will plan the day and exchange ideas with a spouse beforehand. This process may alleviate tension on an emotional day where feelings are easily hurt. Even if living children are present, the family is incomplete and mourning the baby.

Please think about all Mothers on Mothers Day

Peace Love and Hugs

Diana

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Her Bleak Future Lasted 15 Years

It felt as though she could jump out from behind the glossy image to give me a big wet kiss. This beautiful creature gave more to her owner than unconditional love. Kayla was the underdog of a litter with a number of unseen health problems.

Terry Rader is the proud owner of Kayla, an Australian Shepherd, aka “Blue Gypsy Spirit” who was set free August 27th 2009 after 15 years of companionship. Letting Kayla transition to the other side was Terry’s final gift to her beloved pet. Kayla was a soul mate to Terry and fueled her passion to continue to help others with pet loss and grief, beyond her life. Terry has been helping dogs holistically for almost a decade, based on her experiences with Kayla.

At six months of age, Kayla had been diagnosed with CISD (Chronic Immune System Disease), and allergic to everything. At 7 years old, Kayla’s kidneys started to fail and were accompanied by other aliments; arthritis, heart murmur and hip dyspolasia. Terry knew there had to be another alternative to cortisone shots and other medications to help Kayla and found her first solutions in a book by Dianne Stein called, “Natural Healing for Dogs & Cats”. Terry also worked with Dr. Charles Loops, DVM who practices homeopathy on animals. “Choosing to take care of an animal holistically was not an easy task, since many vets were not open to alternative options back then,” stated Terry.

 

The last year of Kayla’s life involved constant care and communication by using hand signals and telepathy after Kayla lost her hearing. Terry reassured her that everything would be OK and needed to explain to Kayla that she could not occupy to her old body after being cremated as her spirit was now set free. The upside-down squirrel on the screen window during our interview was one way that Kayla showed me how she returns to visit Terry. Nature is the medium for their communication where Terry composes beautiful poetry and stories embracing eternal love.

 

Terry also believes in the philosophy of the Mayan’s regarding crying. By releasing tears for a loved one, we are filling up the river carrying the canoe to the other side.

“Give your pets and yourself the most natural diet and holistic healthcare you can find. Don’t pretend a treatment is okay if it doesn’t feel right to you, but realize that Western medicine does some good things too. Be as loyal to your four-legged companions as they are to you. Every step we take to live more naturally brings us more in line with living in harmony with the Earth.” from Earth Harmony: Loving Our Pets- Holistically and Unconditionally by Terry Rader as published in AWB Summer 2007 issue, read full story at http://www.doedreamers.com/EHstories.html#6.

Thank you for sharing your story of Kayla with the community.

Peace Love and Hugs

Diana

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It has been surveyed by the Humane Society of the U.S.A. that between 70-87% of pet owners consider their pet as a full fledged part of the family. The grief from loosing a pet is real pain and owners will walk through the healing process as if a family member has died.

Most people don’t understand how someone can grieve so heavily over a lost pet. Society is just not comfortable with death, and grief. And when you are talking about an animal, even if a beloved pet, they really don’t get it. Your grievous loss is easily dismissed in their minds (“Good grief, it’s just a cat”).

You have come to the right place for a sympathetic ear to your pet death grief. We understand how deep and loving the bond between man and animal can be, and how the grief when a pet dies can be just as profound as that felt when a human dies. 

Pet death…

Are you the friend of someone stricken by the loss of a much-loved pet? We provide some really thoughtful and caring ways for you to express your sympathy to your bereaved friend below. But keep in mind that you needn’t spend a lot of money to show your support. What your buddy needs right now more than anything is your understanding and sympathy. Do NOT belittle his or her right to grieve his lost pet. Do NOT urge him to get a replacement pet. Read on for a exploration on pet-loss bereavement and ways to lend support:

Click Here to finish reading the article.

Jennie is a prolific writer and has authored many articles published on the Internet, covering a wide range of self-help topics.

Jennie Wright, RN, RRT, GC-C

http://www.recover-from-grief.com

Thank you Jennie, for understanding how much we love our pets.

Peace Love and Hugs

Diana

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