Archive for the ‘Harsh Words’ Category

“You are better off, there was probably something wrong with the baby” or “Heaven needed another angel” are supposed to comfort bereaved parents of pregnancy and infant loss. Would those words comfort you after the death of your baby or pregnancy?

 Words and Actions Not Recommended to Comfort Bereaved Families

Even though your words come straight from your heart, they may not offer the comfort you intended. Here are some phrases and words not recommended for bereaved families of pregnancy and infant loss.

  • Your baby is in a better place
  • It was God’s will
  • God needed another angel
  • You are still young, you can have more
  • You never have to worry about your baby
  • There was probably something wrong with the baby
  • Everything happens for a reason
  • It wasn’t the right time

Things you may want to consider:

  • Do not ignore what has happened
  • Do not avoid saying their baby’s name, unless they have stated to do so
  • Do not take down the nursery, unless they have stated to do so
  • Do not expect bereaved families to attend festive events for some time
  • Do not ignore the baby’s angelversary (birthday or death date)
  • Do not compare your grief experiences with theirs
  • Do not expect them to “move on” quickly because they never held the baby alive
  • Do not tell them how to grieve

 Every bereaved family is different and grieving is hard work. You may help them on their healing journey by avoiding some of these actions and statements that are well known in this community as being hurtful. Please see articles on recommended words and actions that may offer comfort located at Haven of Hope and Healing  and Heartstrings.

If you are a bereaved parent or family member, feel free to mention other words that did not bring you comfort. We can learn from each other what did not bring the support needed while noting what words or phrases may console.

Peace Love and Hugs


Just a Cloud Away, Inc.™ Journal

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