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Posts Tagged ‘Pregnancy and Infant Loss’

 Terms to be Familiar with when Preplanning a Funeral

Archival Photographsprinted on high quality paper, fade and water-resistant, ideal for outdoor memory gardens.

Bio-Degradable Urn-non-toxic and will decompose over time without harming the earth

Body Donation-donation of whole body for medical research or education

Body Transport-NC does not require the deceased loved one to be transported by the funeral homes

Budget-what are you willing to pay for the entire funeral or memorial service?

Burial Interment by burial in a grave

Burial Liner Outer burial container for a casket, a minimum requirement by most cemeteries

Body Donation-donation of whole body for medical research or education

Burial Vault Protective outer burial container for a casket

Casket The box-like container the body is placed in

Cemetery/graveyard Private, military or community grounds for burying the dead

Columbarium An arrangement of niches to hold cremation urns, usually fronted by glass, bronze, marble or granite and may be located either indoors or outdoors

Cremated remains Remains recovered following cremation

Cremation The reduction, by direct flame, of the body to its basic elements. Some facilities will provide this free of charge for early pregnancy losses and stillbirths.

Crypt Cubicle designed to contain a casket usually in a mausoleum

Eco-Eternity Forest-are undisturbed forest preservations providing ecologically friendly and peaceful resting places for cremated ashes. Ashes are placed in biodegradable urns and buried at the roots of mature trees. Over time, the roots will absorb the nutrients and create a living memorial

Eco-friendly options-embalming fluids are not used, cremation is not used, respecting nature with little harm like burial at sea

Embalm The preserving and sanitizing of the body. The state of NC does not require this, dried ice is another alternative

Funeral Ceremony A service or rite, religious or non-religious, held at a funeral home, church or elsewhere with the body present

Graveside Ceremony-A service or rite, religious or non-religious, held at the cemetery with casket (interment) or urn present (internment)

Green Burials–  any one of a number of options that doesn’t leave a body in a metal casket in the ground for hundreds of years, with minimal adverse impact on the earth

Green caskets-100% biodegradable caskets handcrafted from pine harvested exclusively from the sustainable forests,contain no metal nor toxins whatsoever

Interred-to place in a tomb or grave

Mausoleum A building consisting of crypts (entombment)

Memorial Artwork Bronze sculpture, or other fine art, designed for the purpose of honoring the memories of a life lived.

 

Memory Garden-any designed outdoor residential space for reflection, with or without ashes of loved one. Memory Gardens can also be developed on Campuses, Churches and other Institutions.

 

Memorial Ceremony A gathering of family and friends (religious or non-religious) held at a funeral home, church or other venue, without the body present. It takes place after burial or cremation

 

Memorial Tree-purchased by family to recognize loved ones past and planting in a residential landscape, church, or in the city (Greensboro Beautiful Memorial Tree Program).

 

Mowable Groundcover-small outdoor, non-invasive, groundcover  plants adding color to cemetery plots/gravesites and withstand mowing without damaging.

 

Niche The space for cremated remains in a columbarium, mausoleum or other structure

Obituary-is a notice or announcement of a person’s death, often with a short account of their life. It is often the first thing many people read in the news each day and may be the last word written about a person’s life. These are then submitted to newspapers, online or Just a Cloud Away, Inc.™ Journal

 

Open Casket An option available for viewing of the deceased.

Organ Donation-registering certain organs to be donated after death

Pre-planning Funerals-discussing end of life arrangements with close family or a chosen funeral director

Remains Usually referring to the body but may include cremated remains.

Urn Vault Outer container for urn or cremated remains, a requirement by some cemeteries. Perfume viles are sometimes used when the loss is early in pregnancy.

Urn The vase or container used for cremated remains

 Viewing/Visitation An option available for viewing the body, either private, family only or public, scheduled prior to services at a funeral home, church or in a home

Our loved ones are just a cloud away…………..

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Options for Bereaved Families

 Many changes have come about regarding the death industry, including how to mourn or celebrate a deceased family member or friend. The National Funeral Directors Association 2007 study showed that 23% of the respondents desired a very personalized funeral.

The Emerald Event Center is a facility truly celebrating a loved one because of the compassion, care and uniqueness they offer our community; one significant factor being great value meeting individual budgets, seating anywhere from 100- 500. Because of the spatial options, memorial and funeral services could be held in the same room for a more intimate setting, as opposed to a church and a funeral home.

The covered patio can be easily decorated and offers an outdoor sitting area.

Most of the decor is offered, in-house by Emerald.

 

The Emerald Event center is also the home of Create a Cake Catering, where fresh, comfort food is offered. In the past, the center held an Irish memorial service, given by their priest and meal where guests were fed favorite foods made from recipes family members provided for the cooking staff. A full bar was offered as well, because an ABC license is held by the center. A radio, Irish music cd’s, mementoes and personal stories about the gentleman were exchanged in a private room, where even the children felt comfortable to exchange memories of their Uncle. A Celebrate Life cake was also personalized with a picture and mementoes dear to him.

 

Beautiful Altars can be created.

For a beloved Veteran

For bereaved families of pregnancy and infant loss, the facility may be an option if the couple does not belong to a church or out – of- town family members will arrive at a later date. Angelversary cakes can be personalized to reflect the baby’s gender, nursery theme, zodiac sign, and birthstone, to recognize and honor the child. The Emerald Event Center will also be able to accommodate the last-minute decision to use their facility. Click here, how to help plan for baby loss.

Unnecessary driving miles can be avoided, by having the service, memorial, and meal in one place. If you would like to take a tour of the center, call 336.691.000.

Just a Cloud Away, Inc. ™ Journal

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A new resource for women suffering from medical conditions such as, chemotherapy treatments, alopecia, lupus, thyroid problems, breast cancer, stress had their grand opening to the public January 14, 2011. Undetectable wigs are even suitable for hair loss from genetics and certain medications such as Wellbutrin, with the complete list from WebMD found here. Gastric bypass surgery can also be a factor in the loss of hair, but with a healthy diet, can be minimized. Health coaches are also very beneficial to keep you on track.

The opening was sponsored by Just a Cloud Away, Inc. ™Journal and many other resources were present offering their support, products and services.

Much of the conversation took place in the Serenity Garden designed by DianaDigsDirt.

Residential Serenity Gardens are also designed to engage the senses

Melody Anderson of Chadwick Insurance Group-offers the health insurance to meet  your needs and your budget.

Create a Cake Catering dropped off some yummy cookies and in March, will be hosting

 The Location is Emerald Event Center, click here for info

Pamela Thomas of NY Life- investing in life insurance is well spent dollars,  five investment options to avoid recommends Dave Ramsey.

XoCai Chocolate was another treat

Christiana Dyson of Mary Kay Cosmetics (host a party and %10 is dedicated to Breast Cancer Research). Chanel Lace Hair Gallery will provide space at shop if needed.

Angela Howard, Health Coach of Take Shape for Life offers guidance for women regarding a healthy diet and increased quality of living.

Local author, Janet Nestor signed books during the opening.

Katie, owner of The Clean G, offering cleaning products, air deodorizers and room spritzers, non-toxic, safe and organic.

B-Skinney Coffee gave out samples of a low-glycemic delicious cup of joe.

Janet Nestor treated us to complementary energy work sessions and they were greatly appreciated.

Janet has a gift of connecting with deceased family members through her energy work, more info here.

Thank all of you for your time and especially Sharon Ellis-Wiley of Chanel Lace Hair Gallery. Stop in to say hello.

Sharon has set up a small fund women who cannot afford a wig. Make a donation by purchasing a ribbon and write a brief note or your name on a Breast Cancer Awareness Ribbon and hang on tree in the Serenity Garden

 

Gorgeous flowers donated by Harris Teeter

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We all know loved ones who passed on due to this vicious disease and hopefully we also know cancer survivors. What if you were diagnosed with Cancer today? What would you do or say and why is this important?

Live for the moment, seize the day, don’t live with regret, hostility or hatred in your heart.

Please share your answers. Here is feedback from someone who has lost numerous family members from Cancer. I can only imagine the family dynamics from the words in her answer

” I would write individual letters to every friend and family member of how much I love them and how they have made my life beautiful, meaningful and mine. Write your love on paper and mistakes of others in the sand.”     Suzanne

Just a Cloud Away, Inc. ™ Journal

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The first “Quilt of Remembrance” for Just a Cloud Away, Inc. ™ Journal has been created. We thank all those who have contributed and supported the publication by remembering or honoring a loved one. The paper addresses human interest stories regarding love, loss, healing, hope, grief and memorials.

Many people upon the quilt are from places other than North Carolinians and will be mailed to family and friends wanting copies.

Angelversaries can also be acknowledged for bereaved parents of pregnancy loss. Miscarriages, stillbirths and babies who have passed of SIDS are very much-loved and remembered.

As a kind gesture, businesses can remember an employees loved one or a beloved pet.

The purchase of a quilt square can also be given as a sympathy gift.

The Quilt of Remembrance will be printed within each monthly issue. Please support your paper by remembering a special person who has touched your life.

Please contact us regarding potential stories, click here.

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Rabbi Dickstein has led the Conservative movement to establish new legal responses that carry with them the full authority of Jewish law. Here are the major points of this new practice:

1. In the case of a full-term pregnancy, when an infant dies for any reason, at any time after birth, its parents and other family members should be obligated for full bereavement practices, just as for any other child. The parents should recite Kaddish for 30 days and should observe yahrzeit. Young siblings have no oblig­ation to say Kaddish, and post-bar/bat mitzvah siblings should be encouraged to use the traditional rituals to work through the many feelings they have.

2. The body should be buried in accordance with Jewish practice. The funeral should follow standard practice with appropriate readings of comfort in place of a eulogy. Parents should be encouraged to attend the funeral, as should family and close friends. The funeral should be held as soon as possible, although if the mother wants to attend, burial may be delayed until she recovers enough physical strength following the delivery to attend.

3. If the infant was not named prior to death, it is usually given a name at the grave. The name may be the one the parents intended to use for their child (although this might be difficult for the surviving grandparents whose own parents may have been remembered with this name), or they might choose a name like Menahem or Nehamah, names that indicate a desire for “comfort.” There are two reasons for the naming: a) according to Jewish folk tradition, giving a name will enable parents to “find” their child in the world to come; and b) psychologists consider the prac­tice of naming to be an important help in healing the parents’ grief.

4.  If the information gathered from an autopsy can help determine the advisability of future pregnancies for the couple or of treatment of diseases to which other chil­dren of the couple might be susceptible, it should be allowed, even encouraged.

5. A complete shiva should be observed, beginning with the meal of consolation and including daily prayer services for the mourners. Communal participation in the shiva makes real this loss and overcomes the tremendous isolation the parents feel. If things had turned out differently, the community would have been there for visit­ing the baby and welcoming it with Jewish birth rituals. The family whose newborn dies should not be denied its community. It is also extremely important, especially for the father, to allow permission to do nothing else but mourn during the shiva period.

6. The father and the mother should be treated equally as mourners. Both parents will react differently to the loss, [but] it is partic­ularly important for the father to recognize his loss, for it is no less real than the mother’s. When the father is treated as a mourner, he is relieved of the burden of “being strong” for his wife. He has a specific set of ritual tasks to do that encourage him to confront the magnitude of his loss in all its dimensions.

7. In the case of infants born prematurely, there is still debate within the Law Committee on how to define “viability.” Some, including Rabbi Dickstein, argue that between five months and thirty weeks the decision concerning mourning might be made by the local rabbi and the parents.

Certainly, there may be those who feel the centuries-old practice of not mourning a neonatal death could be more comforting than engaging in the whole ritual of Jewish bereavement. But for those who desperately need a vehicle for grief, this recent ruling allowing for the mourning of newborns is indeed a welcome development.

Dr. Ron Wolfson is the Fingerhut Professor of Education at American Jewish University and the president of Synagogue 3000.

Jewish twist on parenting

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Homeless Receive Care Packet from Stillborn Angel

A plastic bag full of crackers, juice and cookies lay on the back seat of my mother-in-law’s car. My 10 year old vehicle breaks down quite often, so my husband’s mother loaned me her zippy little car for a few days. I thought what a great idea, snacks and a beverage for when she’s stuck in traffic.

I forgot to inquire about the snacks; however, the subject came up in her bible study class days later. My mother-in-law’s friend stated that she was rather uncomfortable giving money to the homeless. Whatever the case, the vote was unanimous that we all had similar thoughts of uneasiness by giving just cash.

My mother-in-law packs up goodies for the homeless people standing at the intersection we pass daily, going into Greensboro. Juice boxes, granola bars, crackers, cookies and chips are placed into a see through plastic bag. Nothing in them will melt from our intense North Carolina heat.

I love the idea of helping out the less fortunate in this “out-of-the-box” manner. I decided to participate. It makes me feel good and I hope to add a little nourishment for someone less fortunate than myself. Giving back to the community in this fashion may touch the heart of a homeless person in a positive way. One never knows when they are making a memory, but it’s worth trying. I insert a little piece of paper with Tanner’s name in between the snacks. This act of kindness gives me the opportunity to write my stillborn angel’s name many, many times. Bereaved parents never forget their children. Larry Wayne McCraw was the recipient of the snack bag one rainy day.

Larry recently passed in a vehicular accident. Rest in Peace dear Larry.

Read our local blog regarding Greensboro’s homeless community, http://chosenfast.com

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